Christian, 18, USA

I started having a strange tingling sensation in my right hand and arm in the 7th grade. I thought nothing of it.

As the years went by this sensation grew and intensified. They turned into what I would later find out to be partial seizures. The feeling would go into me not being able to talk or respond to those around me. I would have multiple partial seizures everyday. Not a day went by where I wouldn't fall into the most horrible feeling that I couldn't describe.

In the 10th grade - shortly after I had my first tonic-clonic seizure in the middle of pottery class in school - my mother got worried and took me to see a neurologist. A man who I am considering suing because of his misdiagnosis; he said that I was just having panic attacks. The last thing I remember is the feeling before I would have a partial seizure but my arm raising into the air on its own. I woke up on a stretcher in the middle of an empty art classroom. I still wasn't fully conscious and don't remember how I got into the hospital room where my mother was freaking out. After after that I was put on the first of the now eleven different drugs I've been on. I was told that they usually give up on meds after the second medication.

After a couple years of trying medication after medication, I chose to have a two stage surgery to remove the part of my brain that my seizures were coming from. The surgery was in February and I am still recovering. First they put electrodes directly on my brain, then a couple days of tests and major seizures, one where I had seven tonic-clonics in a row and stood up in my bed and tried to pull the cords out of my skull; later they took a chunk of my brain out. I thought I was fixed, but the area where my seizures come from was between the area of speech and sensation in the right side of my body, so the doctors didn't want to take too much out. They didn't take enough out and I am still having auras every day and am still on two medications, including a benzo.

Because of the timing of my surgery I missed too much school and am looking at taking a fifth year of high school next year. I dont want to, but my mother thinks it is best. Epilepsy has derailed my entire life. My friends stopped talking to me because I never feel good enough to go out, I am not legally allowed drive, and my girlfriend stopped talking to me because one of the medications I was on made me too irritable.

I'm 18 yet have no control of my life. I thought I would be moving back to my hometown in Colorado by now but I have to live with my mother so she can take care of me. I thought I would be going into one of the best aviation schools in America, but now I am considering dropping out of high school. My life with epilepsy isn't over yet. I still get daily auras but have not had a full seizure in four months. The next step in freeing myself from epilepsy is having laser brain surgery to zap away the remaining bad brain tissue, but a date has not been set yet.

In the meantime I'll keep dreaming of what's to come and hope for the best. Life is lonely. I live with my mother and little sister, they're the only human contact in most days. My father really wasn't every there for me and is an alcoholic. There is no one I know that has epilepsy, the only support groups around are for either little kids or grown adults. I may not have much support in my life, but I know God is on my side and has a much bigger plan for me.

- July 1st, 2014

Contact info:

Twitter: @CD_epi