Dallas, 19, USA

Hi! My name is Dallas. I was 14 when I had my first grand mal seizure when I was playing video games with a friend. I thought it may have been because of the game, but after a few tests at the neurologists it turns out I wasn't photosensitive.

It hit my parents really hard because my older brother had been diagnosed less than a year before me. It was just a lot to deal with in such a short amount of time. In the first few weeks I had grand mals weekly, but it slowed down to monthly once we found the right medication (Depakote & Zonisamide) which worked for both me and my brother.

We found out that my grand mal seizures have 3 triggers: not taking medicine (obviously), lack of sleep, and stress. But, I still have petite mal a lot of the times, and I don't really want to try a new medicine just to get rid of those if my grand mals are at bay.

I love playing soccer. It has always been my passion. I'm actually playing in college now. But, I had two grand mal seizures 3 weeks before moving in. So my neurologist kicked my dosage up. I'm taking 1500mg of Depakote and 200mg of Zonisamide daily and it has really taken a toll on my physical health. I weighed 185lbs. 3 months ago. Within 2 weeks of my dosage being changed, I dropped 25 pounds. I'm 6'2, and to play at the college level you really can't be as skinny as I am right now.

I promised myself I wouldn't ever let my condition hold me back from doing the things I wanted to do. I guess now is the time to keep that promise. I'm not getting any playing time right now, and I'm nauseous and dizzy whenever I play but I'm definitely optimistic. I won't let epilepsy stop me from doing what I love.

Zonisamide also has really weird side effects. I forget so many things, words especially, even in the middle of conversation. It's like your brain and your lips are never on the same page. (ex: "Hey coach what team uh, is that team, the team were playing uh, next good?") If I want my sentences to sound "good" I have to think about it for a bit. In normal conversation, by the time I've thought about something to say the topic is already come and gone. I honestly thought it was just me being bad at socializing/ being absent minded. That was until my brother and the community that I've been talking to also experienced it.

Living with epilepsy has been a challenge, but I'm blessed to see the light of day every morning that I wake up.